optimistic,

i used to talk about you everyday but now it seems so different. your service fr th country is ruining our relationship. i keep cheating behind you. do you know how much it sucks running around th bush? Alvin, you may be capable to takecare of me. give me whatever i needed or wanted, but are we really ready ahead fr th future? i feel so young yet i am. i want to feel like how young girls behave, to make more friends - to be somebody. i am not happy neither am i satisfied w what i have now - you. whenever youre around, i feel deeply in love w you, i feel that im yours. but once youre gone, i just feel that youre not mine anymore, & i am not yours. i thought we could be happy like we used to. i guess im wrong. i miss you, indeed i do. but your return doesnt seem to bother me much now. its just like a daily routine. your past hurts me so much everytime i daydreamed about you. sometimes i could see you in my dreams but not w me, but w someone else. its too much bad memories than good ones. i feel different now ):