optimistic,

will anyone appreciate me? treat me like they never loved anyone more than me? is this what im gonna be till forever? i never want to continue being like this cos it sucks. ive stop messaging w a few guys already. i think theres no point. i message, then bukannye dapat mataer ke kasih sayang or even proper full attention. stakat on & off jer. fr what kann waste my prepaid. must well i ignore & wait fr one angel to comeby. i want to have a Boyf ! please. i want to have those sweet kisses & hugs like i used to have th last time. meeting Boyf every single day is a routine to me but now .. no more. everything changed. i start to work, i forget almost every sad things i had in th past, after work everythings comes to my mind again. it keeps haunting me & it scares me alot. what if i meet someone i just know, & sometime terrible happen. who am i gonna share it w or even complain to? i just need someone i could trust & feel comfortable w. is there anyone out there fr me? Alvin no longer needs me. should i just forget him? im too used to him already. everything i do w him, i dont feel th shyness. anything about me, i feel comfortable to share it w him. but in th end, he also shares part of my story w someone else. why cant i find a guy who suits me & th one i can trust? zaman sekarang nye jantan takleh percaye uh. susah mau carik yang setia. susah mau carik yang suci. haix. memang dunia nie nak kiamat uh aku rase. i need to settle down. i really need to. i think ive changed plans not to go fr Alvin's POP. when i see him, i just feel like slapping him & daah muak uh ngn dier peh perangai sundal. some more i working. now he call me a fcuking shit. best pah. im fcuking tired liao. maybe i should stop liking guys already till someone proves to me they're different. k, calo.