optimistic,

hellohello (: sorry fr not updating. hehe. been busy w stuffs & some things did happen laa kann. so, yesterday th yesterday i kena slap by my dad. thats terrible, i kno'. elly is strong. no matter what, il still stand up fr anything. i cant give up now. i havea long way to go ahead of me. th reason why papa slap me was bcos he thot i was having an affair w his worker (which is aint true). but still, i manage to accept it. i wont want to disobey him laa. bcos ive had enough of it. & theres no point. hes still my dad. th best dad. even if hes in th wrong, il treat it as if hes right. he wont be longggg to live anymore. everyday he is getting older. not younger. so, i still will have to takecare of him sooner or later. what i kno', that day happened was bcos of Juliana nye mulot. grrr ! kalo boleh i give her one on th face sia. but takpelaa. no use already. now, papa say last chance fr me. masok tiga kali, he wont want to see my face anymore. besides, he wouldnt like me anymore. it'll turn to hate. & il be put in th Pertapis. still, i accept it. now im living happily like a dog. i cant do anything inside & outside. if i go out, i get scolded. if im at home, also same. haix. people outside may not kno' what i am going through bcos i dont like to show it through th expressions of my face. il always smile thinking as if nothing happened. really. it hurts alot in th heart, but there isnt any place fr me to lean against to, & cry. must well i just live my life w pretends. thats th way some people live too right? hmm. papa's worker is staying over here fr th time-being. as he has no where else to go. i still wonder why, it isnt my fault. its his, why must i be th one getting th pain? i really dont understand. i dont understand why i should live. i really dont. yesterday i went fr my muay thai class, & today im going again. yey. then tomorrow till saturday i wont be home. so bubbye bloggers & readers. will update more, more, more. if i could. im happy, so i wont have to stay here & pretend. i still can see th world outside waiting fr me to be free. i miss Ayangku. haix. i hope hes fine always. gonna pack fr tonight & tomorrow. sooooon il be off. anything can text me or call alrights. will always be free (: k, bye.