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Monday
 im having my period. still idk why i dont have this feeling thatmakes me angry :D coool kn? lalala. lagipon good pe. tak moody, just happy. but Alvin, youre spoiling the end of my school day sak. why cant you just understand? im not avoiding you actually. i just need to get away from you. i cant see you till we get married kn? rmb? dont tell me you forget. seriously i need to focus on something else. but SO-NOT wanbby ok. you can work for me meh? No, you cant. you can stick to one only meh? I so-dont-think you can. im not ellyana you used to know last time. for goodness sake. IVE CHANGED !! now im telling you the truth. ive really changed. you actually destroyed my life, do you know that? i want my parents trust back. or else il have NO LIFE !! im still young. i want to enjoy life. i thought i could. but now i knew i cant. i feel like im not human anymore. what a stupid young life im going thru. so damn FUCKING miserable young ass LIFE ! haix. whenever my friends ask me out. il just hide my tears away from them cos i dont want them to know what im going thru. my life is full of pretends. i must do this everyday so that no one would know. how pathetic my life can be? how much worst can it become? the outcome will only be a LONER ! my parents understands, but all this is for my own good. ALL BCOS OF YOU ! ive become like this. like a stupid dog hanging around at home. after school, go home straight. thats real dumb. i feel so embarrassed to see my other friends go slack outside together. but me? what am i? INHUMAN SAK ! i'd rather be an animal going to school & going home after that. & weekends, follow family go out. serupa macam dog kan Alvin? you like me being this way kan? thanks. takpelaa. i dont blame you for everything eventhough mostly is your fault. tak sampai hati laa kann. i just hope after my EYE, i could enjoy again. long kn? takpelaa. kena tahan laa. lagipon 2oo9 is a upgrading year. so not many places are syiok for me now. just sentosa jer gerek. tuu pon construction. haix. for now. im just saving up all my money. kay laa, Alvin, since you daa read. this is what ive been keeping to myself. just to let you know. my life is not gonna get any worst for now. till you masok NS, then i think i will spent my time w you again. takleh tahan. go find someone else oke? takecare -___ -
4:18 PM
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ELLY